17 - Outlining

Two major things have happened since I last blogged. Firstly, I started school again. The most relevant consequence of which is the fact that now, a good day is half and hour of writing, rather than two.

The second thing is that I gave up on the story I was working on. Not permanently; just taking a break.

I was feeling lost. I had 40 pages of barely-related scenes that didn't really make much sense. Scenes that I had spent hours aimlessly writing only to realise that my efforts meant nothing, really. The thing is: I really like the idea. But I was approaching it in the wrong way and, honestly, the thought of starting the same thing over made me sick. It was time to move on.

I started on a new idea after a few day's break from writing and I'm trying a new approach, something I've never seriously done before: outlining. Figuring out what this story will be about before jumping straight into like I always have. Holding myself back until I'm really sure about where it's going, about what's actually relevant and what isn't.

The strangest part, to me, is that I've never done it like this before. I've always assumed myself to be more of a pantser than a plotter. Possibly because it seemed to me to be the superior way. Writing is an art, and writers are wonderfully artistic beings, brimming with ideas, always able to come up with some ingenious plot on the fly. With characters living in their minds, the stories flow through them like water through a river, easily, quickly, smoothly. If I want to be a writer, I have to be like that, right?

Wrong, I think. I hope. I'm trying to see.

The truth that I've realised is that I am not and never will be the writer you think of, writing calmly in a log cabin in the middle of nowhere by firelight. I'm a logical person. I love maths, and thinking things through. So why am I pretending to be something I'm not?

Maybe that's why I've always struggled so much with writing. I've always loved it, but I've struggled with it just as much.

I'm going to outline this novel. I'm going to have my plot figured out before I start writing, just to see how it feels, that's all. Maybe this is that answer I'm looking for, maybe it isn't. There's no way to know but to try.

Though, I have a feeling this will work. I may not be very artistic, but I certainly am an optimist.